In a new episode of VH1’s Behind the Music, Courtney Love breaks down and sobs over painful memories, talks about dealing with Kurt Cobain during the depths his addiction, and opens up about a target of hatred.

In the doc, Courtney speaks candidly (as she’s known to do) of how she was constantly forced to wake up Cobain from his heroin-induced stupor using anything available, including pins and ice-cubes.

“He’d pass out and seek oblivion and I’d have to f***ing slap him and put pins in his b**ls and put ice cubes everywhere and it started to p**s me off,” she says. “I started resenting that; I didn’t like being a nursemaid.”

Love also claims that Kurt’s mother and sister (who now have legal custody of Love’s 17-year-old daughter Frances Bean) weren’t terribly helpful, saying, “He once overdosed on the floor in front of his mother and sister and I went to do all the s**t you do when someone overdoses and I look up and they’d taken off.”

In her signature rough edged, frank and rambling style the Hole frontwoman goes on about addiction, Frances Bean, her ambitions, and the pain of still being a villain for legions of Nirvana fans.

“I get the s**t because I’m the only chick standing….and I’m a crazy b***h and I’m a widow and it’s f*** ing pathetic….stop it, seriously or I’ll f****ng kill you!”

She adds, “It’s really hard sometimes when everyone in the world is picking on you. And that’s what started happening. Everyone in the world started picking on me. It really, really hurt my feelings – it was horrible. It took a long time to adapt to it – that was trauma. That was traumatic. I didn’t ask to be hated. I just don’t mind being a b***h.”

Behind the Music: Courtney Love will air several times on VH1 over the next two weeks.